Bunny Slippers
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: Horio has a certain tape that he does not want his parents to discover, so he brings it to school...where of course, it is discovered.


A/N: This is the second fic I entered in moffit's squick me contest, and it tied for second place. ehe. It's my pet right now.  
Warnings: Sakaki x Banji. Horio being a voyeur. Horio...doing nasty things. Sakaki x Banji.  
  
**Bunny Slippers**

Horio cradled his videotape to his chest liked the cherished item that it was. He had to find somewhere safe to keep it. He didn't want his parents finding it, or they would have him put away for sure, like they'd always threatened they would.

No, he didn't want to be put away...so really, he should dispose of the tape, but he liked it so much. It just had that ability to turn him on like nothing else. And he liked being turned on.

So...where could he hide the tape?

"Horio!"

Horio started when he heard his name being called. Oh yeah -- he was at tennis practice. He'd brought the tape with him to school because he really didn't want his parents to get a hold of it...but there was no place safe at school for it, either.

He shoved it in his bag and went out --

--but what he didn't realize was that the bag he shoved it into was not his own...

The Seigaku regulars, plus the ichinen trio -- because they always got dragged along to events like these, for reasons that no one knows or cares about -- were all gathered in the Kawamura sushi shop, discussing tennis. They were about to go up against a team they had never been up against before, who were rumored to be amazing, blah blah blah. Inui apparently had a video tape of this new school in action, like always. He popped the tape into the machine, and --

Horio stifled a gasp. His tape wasn't in his bag! That meant that it was somewhere else! But where the hell could it have --

-- and a horror film unwound before their eyes.

-- he had shoved the tape into Inui's bag by mistake.

"Oh, you kinky bastard! Harder!"

The Seigaku regulars all had varying degrees of stricken expressions on their faces.

"Inui...this is porn..." Fuji commented. Nothing could phase Fuji. Except maybe this.

"This isn't my tape," Inui said. "It really isn't. I swear."

Momo hiccupped.

"Who is that?" asked Kikumaru, pointing a shaky finger at the screen. "I...I recognize that guy..."

"Which one?" asked Oishi, whose face was an interesting shade of green.

"The one on the bottom..."

"That would be Banji," said Ryuzaki-sensei, who had unfortunately joined her pupils that day. She was too disturbed to tell them to turn it off.

"And the one on top is...the coach of Hyoutei," said Inui. "I...I need to go lie down."

"I think Kaido's dead," said Kawamura, poking Kaido's fallen form.

"Someone...turn it off," Echizen pleaded.

"I...I can't...I have to keep watching..." Horio said. The look of pure ecstasy in his eyes caused Echizen to faint, and join Kaido on the floor.

"Must...watch..." Horio said, and then he started to -- well, let's just say his hand went somewhere that no hand should ever go. The rest of the regulars, the two other ichinen, Ryuzaki-sensei, and Kawamura's father who had just entered the room, all fainted dead away. Which was a good thing, because they missed Horio's moaning and panting and etc.

Sakaki and Banji had no idea they were being videotaped. All the knew was that they were really, really horny.

Sakaki had met Banji at a conference for all teachers that was invented solely for the purposes of this fic, whereby they would be able to meet, etc. etc. Their eyes had met, and they had realized that they were soul mates.

Well, actually, what they had realized was that they were both feeling quite aroused at the moment and wanted really badly to go and bang in the closet, but the opportunity did not arise.

Later that day, Sakaki invited Banji to his personal cottage, and Banji accepted. Even later that day, Sakaki introduced Banji to his costume collection.

"My favorite is cat and mouse," Sakaki said, pulling some musty old costumes out of a trunk in the attic. He wiggled his eyebrows. "I'll be the cat, and you can be the mouse."

Banji donned the mouse costume, which was too small for him, and his belly hung over -- but that was not as bad as Sakaki, whose costume was also too small, and covered only one area of his body. Which happened to be his left armpit.

"Now you run, and I'll chase you!"

Well, both men were getting on in years, and were out of breath quite quickly.

"I've got you!" Sakaki announced, as he pounced on Banji, who was trying to catch his breath.

"Yes, yes you do," Banji purred, and then Sakaki proceeded to demonstrate that even though he was getting on in years, he was still quite flexible! At least, somewhat flexible. He was struck by a charlie horse somewhere during their activities, and was forced to get up and run around the room a few times in order to alleviate it enough that they could continue.

Banji was not amused -- but then when Sakaki resumed what he was doing, he himself realized that he needed to go to the bathroom, so they stopped again.

Then, when all their elderly problems were taken care of, they finished screwing, although it was not quite as good as when they had started because Sakaki's aim was off. Let's just say that Banji's ear was not happy when they were finished.

"Hey everyone wake up!" Horio exclaimed excitedly. "This is my favorite part!"

The fallen stirred, and a couple of them sat up. They saw Horio, who had shed all of his clothes and painted himself orange, and then fainted again.

Well, too bad for them! In Horio's two years of pornography-viewing experience, this was the best tape ever!

"So was that good for you?" Sakaki asked, as he smoked a cigar.

"It could have been better," Banji said, as he smoked a pipe. They were both wearing fuzzy slippers -- and nothing else -- while sprawled across Sakaki's giant bed.

"Oh. Well, let's try again then, shall we? I'll dig out my black leather," Sakaki said, and he went up to the attic again. When he returned, he had an armful of interesting looking items. When he and Banji were finished dressing, they looked very much like hookers, of the older male variety. Hookers with hairy legs and hairy chests, and hairy backs. And, in Banji's case, exceptionally hairy armpits. He may even have had armpit dandruff, but it was hard to tell from that angle.

"All right," Sakaki said. He experimentally cracked the whip that was in his hands. "I think I still remember how to do this."

Banji, who was a little uncomfortable in his leather thong, grinned in anticipation. "Could you handcuff me to the bed first?"

"No, you have to be free for this part. Start playing hard to get."

Banji turned his back on Sakaki -- giving a nice view of his hairy bum.

"Oh Banji." The whip cracked. "Come here, you bad boy. You need to be punished." The whip cracked again.

"I'll never come to you willingly," Banji said, in a good impression of a woman in a porn film.

"Oh yes you will!" Sakaki said, and then he pounced on Banji and ripped the thong off. Then they went at it like bunnies, until Sakaki realized he had forgotten to take his clothes off, and therefore was not doing it quite right.

"Oh baby, you're so hot!" Sakaki yelled. "You make me wanna do you again and again!"

"Harder, harder!"

"Raar! You sexy bitch!"

"Oh, Sakaki, you're so --"

The screen went blank. Horio let out a squawk of protest. "Hey, it was just getting to the part where --"

Tezuka gave Horio a stern glare. "Horio..."

"Tezuka! When did you get back from Germany?"

"Five minutes ago. I was told that you were all here." Tezuka shook his head. "This is disgusting."

"Tezuka-buchou --"

"I thought I told you never to look at any other man but me?" Tezuka said. He pulled a handy whip out of his pocket and cracked it. "Now come here you bad boy so I can punish you."

"Yay!" Horio exclaimed.

When some of the fallen woke again, they saw Tezuka and Horio, dressed in pink sundresses, beating each other with pool noodles.

fin


End file.
